Contemplation

I lay beneath the inky night

Counting all my wounds and scars

All the tears of yesterday

Lingering on my soul

Weighed down by burdens

Too numerous to count

I lay here contemplating my existence

Why do I get up everyday and fight?

Weary to the very depth of me

I’m exhausted, inside and out

Constant struggle, constant stress

Inside I just want to scream

Happiness, in my relationships

And sadness too, because I feel like I’m failing

At being good at being in them

I’m good at messing up

Neediness, I want my Daddy

All the time

But I can’t always have him

Sad facts of my life

Branching out and trying to date

In today’s world

Is like trying to find a needle in a haystack

And I’ve not yet found a needle

Life is complicated, and exhausting

I feel defeated, most days

But still I rise

And greet the new day

Scarred, bruised

But never beaten

I’ll always fight

Even when I’m weary

Life isn’t all sunshine and roses

It’s got thorns that can cause anguish

And storms like you ain’t seen

But through it all I’m still standing

A weary rose, through and through

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