Too Much

On days like today I feel like a mess
A lonely, needy, clingy, annoying mess
I want to hog all your attention, bask in your adoration
Claim it all for myself
Revel in being the object of your love and desire
Demand that you worship me
Luxurate in the deliciousness of knowing I’m Yours
Then I feel icky, that I’m being too much, that I’m annoying
And I cycle back to feeling lonely, needy, and clingy
No man should have to deal with all of this
It’s not fair to demand to be the sole object of your attention
You have a life, other women
I shouldn’t be so demanding
So greedy
Yet I want it all
I want to be the center of your focus
I want you to be so wrapped in your desire for me, your longing for me, that you can’t breathe for desiring me so strongly
I want you to want to devote all your time, all your attention, all your everything to me
I want you to want me with the same intensity that I want You
To miss me with the same intensity that I miss you
To crave me, my attention, my focus
I want you to feel what I feel
All while knowing I ask for too much
Because these feelings are too much
I’m drowning in my longing
Spluttering in the waves
The intensity of my feels
Overwhelmed by my desire
Oh, the quandary
On these days, I feel like I am too much
sigh

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